Preparing for crappy day...

Know what it feels like to wake up in a bad mood. Right now, that's what I'm feeling. My mother and I had a little argument last night. I thought I could sleep it off but nope, I still feel like shit. T___T

Life is a series of ups and downs. I guess today I'm supposed to be at the downside coz last night and on Saturday I was too happy with my life. This is like what happens when I laugh out too much, I always end up crying a few hours later. It sucks. Today's gonna suck like hell. I guess I just have to prepare for it.

Ugh! just remembered, I still have to write a reflection paper on Global Warming and Moral Evil for our philosophy class today. Didn't get to write it last night coz I just wanted to sleep away the anger. But that didn't work... T______T

Break Time x___x

I have had a huge cup of Nescafe Intense 3in1 coffee mix and now I just got my brother to buy me a can of Bacchus energy drink. I need a break but I cannot let myself sleep tonight. I have to finish writing up the user guide and test guide for our major project because our project presentation and defense is scheduled today at 4:30 pm. Added to that, I also have to finish editing chapter 3 and 1 of our senior project proposal and submit it as early as possible today. Woohooo! I will not sleep. x___x I just need a break. One more week. Just one more week!!! and then FREEDOM!!!!!!!!...

T_________T

ok, back to work...

Feeling Cranky

I had two cans of Nescafe Ice Coffee this afternoon and now, I'm feeling kinda cranky. I'm not in a good mood. I guess I'm starting to feel the pressure. O.o I just feel weird coz I don't feel like smiling right now. I don't even want to use the smiley emoticons on yahoo. I am kinda angry (but not with anyone in particular) that's how I can tell. OMG!

On another note, I had my grad pic taken today. I can still picture myself wearing the toga. It's weird like for some reason I can't believe it. So, I'll graduate on October instead of March but still... I've been here almost four years already? Time's gone by fast. *sigh*

I want to ... ????? x___x

T______T

my stupidity knows no limits. That's all. *bow*

but then I guess I should be thankful I did that something stupid coz now, I can't sleep which means I'll be able to work on my projects. My stupidity knows no limit but it has benefits. harharhar..

Current Favorite Song

In The Middle
by Theory of a Deadman

What would you do if we woke up and the whole world was gone?
Well, would you believe with me is where you belong?
Well there goes the world and we're right in the middle
There goes the world and we're right in the middle
I said leave me here
I said leave me here with you

As the city crumbles I see that there's nothing left behind
As we lay here together I feel your heart beat with mine
With time standing still, here is where we've always been
Well there goes the world and we're right in the middle again

I said leave me here
I said leave me here
I said leave me here
I said leave me here with you

Hey you, where are we going from here?
Hey you, where are we going from here?
Hey you, where are we going?
Cuz there goes the world and I'm right in the middle with you
I'm right in the middle with you
I'm right in the middle with you
I'm right in the middle with you
I'm right in the middle with you

Got the lyrics from here: Lyricsdomain.com

Early Morning Random-ness...

Random stuff while I wait for my sister to finish using the bathroom...

I'm up early again. I woke up at around 5:30am. I was supposed to be up around 3 to do some work for our major project but I guess that didn't happen. I still don't have the files I need for the project anyway so that's ayt. Anyway, I'll be in school early today though I have no idea what I'll be doing there. Probably wait for Danika to finish her RS quiz then we'll probably go to the mall to check out some things and then to Agora to get her wooden katana (or whatever it's called) made. Hopefully we'll be done with all this before 12pm right before my first class for the day. But then I think I heard Beryl say we won't have a class today. There's probably gonna be another defense this time. Hmmm... I hope so. But we do need to get our defense scheduled. O.o

Ahhhh.. I'm getting tired of projects already. I have to keep reminding myself. Only one more week (or maybe two) and it'll all be over. Sem break na!!! Just hold on a little bit more... gamay na lang.. hahaha ...

Oh wait, I just remembered. Have to do revisions for the chapter 3 of our senior project proposal. T__T

Tambay sa STC lobby...

Dominic, Abi and I decided to hang out at the StC Lobby this evening while we waited for Danika finish her Taekwondo practice. Since we didn't have anything to do, we ended up talking about God and religion and the Bible. Then our conversation went from there to psychology. In the end, Dominic and Abi ended up trying to figure me out. It was fun. Dom was supposed to be some kind of Guru and Abi played the role of the psychologist. I was the patient.

Anyway, Dom had some pretty good insights tonight. There was something he said that made sense to me. He said that sometimes some people would like to assume that they aren't who they are even though that's who they really are. He calls it "assuming". hehe.. I've thought about the same thing before. He's right. Abi said that I have to learn acceptance and to accept that changes happen. They said a whole lot of other things tonight that's got me thinking.

So yea it was a good night. I love it when my friends and I hang out like this and talk about whatever. I'll have to reflect on some of the other things we talked about. I'll write more later. But ya, just wanted to share some thoughts and to say that I'm proud of my friends. =)

2008 XU Cheerdance Competition Champions:

The College of Engineering!!!!!! wohooooo!! will add video later. =)

Edit:
Video's here =) Go Engineering Warriors!!

False Alarm!

Uhhh.. I just got a message from my good friend Danika. My usb is with her. We have absolutely no idea how it ended up in her bag but it's there. LOL... I'm so relieved. *sigh* My 4gb is back! My files are back. I won't have to save up to get a new one. yehey!! XD

Note to self: Don't panic lagi daun. hehehe...

Crap!

So I just figured out that my usb flash drive is lost. Can't find it anywhere. Last time I remember seeing it was this morning but I can't be sure. Maybe I left it in Lab F yesterday evening. Wah!! I don't remember. I'm confused. Noooo!! I thought I was too careful with that thing. Turns out I wasn't careful enough. There goes 4gb of my life. Actually, it's not so much about the usb itself, I'm more concerned with the files that are in it especially the documents for our senior year project proposal. I didn't get a chance to copy it into my laptop. Wahhh!!! ... huhuhu..

Made it out ALIVE!!!! Part II

So today on our way to the Sports Center, my bro and I were involved in an accident. The motorela we were on collided with another motorela. Fortunately, we didn't get hurt. The other passengers in our rela weren't hurt too except for this one lady who was hit by the other rela (which flipped over but the driver was fine). She had a cut on her back and she felt a little faint. So my bro and I decided to go with her to the hospital. We stayed with her until she met up with a nurse friend of hers who was working there. We never got to play basketball. lol

In my previous post I wrote about how slipping on the ramp was probably the "impending doom" thing I was worrying about. Turns out, that wasn't it. What happened tonight was far more dangerous and scary. My knees were pretty much shaking when I got off the motorela. Man, freaky but thank God we didn't suffer any serious injuries. What happened tonight is one of those moments that remind me how much I actually love my life. hehe... =)

From the Past...

I was just browsing through some old files and I came across this. It's something I wrote about four years ago when I was still in Ruwais and had my second blog I think. lol. Anyway, thought I'd share it. So here goes:

Ok, so mannu [note: friend from Ruwais] told me to write. Just keep writing she said and don't stop. So here goes. These are all things that have been locked up in my head for so long now. I just couldn't write them down. I didn't like what I read on paper. It was not the same as what I thought of in my head.

Sometimes, some people have principles that they believe in built deep in the core of thier hearts. They have ideas, beliefs set within themselves yet somehow, what comes out isn't what they intended it to be. When I feel this way, I am reminded of a line from Gladiator when Maximus goes: "There was once a dream that was Rome. This is not it. THIS IS NOT IT!" (or something like that lol) I kind of say something similar to myself. I go: "There was once a dream that was me. This is not it! THIS IS NOT IT!" That's when I figure out that I am not turning into the person that I saw myself as and this due to various reasons: family, society, friends, upbringing, pressure, decisions etc. It's frustrating when you know that the real you is not who everyone sees outside; not the person who is lost, angry, freaky, weird, torn, paranoid, carefree, wreckless etc. The real you is exists but it's been buried through the years by the circumstances that have happened in your life, by the decisions and compromises that you've made. The individual that you've always envisioned you'd be is in there and I guess that's the good part. To know that, even though, right now, you're someone different, that "the dream that was you" still breathes and can be brought back up again from all the debris is comforting.

It can be hard doing that; having to dig through all the dirt and throw them away. I've always thought of it as though a person whose real self has been hidden were like a beautiful plant that ended up being kept in a dark room without any sunlight or water. It cannot grow. It only wilts and eventually dies if no one give it the proper environment to survive. It will just sit there and whither away until the door is opened and it is taken back to a proper growing environment with all the essential nutrients it needs to survive.

At first sight, all you see is the plant, all thin, wilting and dried up. It's basically ugly but it's not dead yet. Once it starts absorbing the sunlight and water, it will go back to the beautiful flower that it was in the beginning before it got locked up in the dark room. I think that it's the same with people.

I still think it's the same with people.. =)

Made it out ALIVE! XD

So, September 5 is over. That day is now officially yesterday. I made it though without hitting the fast forward button. But, something did happen to me. It wasn't doom or anything. It was just embarrassing. Yes, another embarrassing moment but this one I can write about. So what was the moment? I slipped and fell on the ramp on my way down from my philo class. There! hahaha.. Fortunately for me, there weren't that many people who witnessed the incident. Bwahahah.. and whoever they are, I don't know them. hee hee.. Don't care. But yea, I think that was probably the "impending doom" I was writing about. I'm hoping that was it. Anyway, after I got up, it was a little embarrassing but instead of actually feeling like the way I felt on Wednesday, I kinda felt good. hahaha.. yepz.. it felt good knowing that was it. I mean, that was all that happened. I was relieved. hehe.. It wasn't all that bad. XD .. yehey!! I got out alive! ... Wla lng.. I'm happy.. =)

Impending Doom...

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. It's not like I want to die tonight or anything, it's just that I sort of want to skip tomorrow. For some reason, I feel a sense impending doom. o.O Vat is dis? I don't like this feeling. I want to hit the fast forward button as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning. If only it were that easy....

Congratulate me...

I'm up early today. Wheee!! It's only 6:59 am. First time I've been up this early in a month (or maybe since we got our internet connection back). XD Anyway, I think I'm going to school early today too even though my first class for the day is at noon. I need to go early for two reasons. First, I think Dominic needs to borrow my laptop for his English report. The other reason, however, shall remain a ... ummm.. secret? No, actually it's not a secret I just don't feel like writing about it.

Right, moving on. Last night I reflected on some of the things that happened during the day. One of those things happened after our Philosophy class. I was on my way out and there was this hankie on the floor. I didn't know whose it was. It was just lying there. I did ask the people around who's it was (or rather I had this look on my face that seemed to ask whose hanky it was. I didn't really ask. I sorta whispered the question...) but then they just looked at me funny or like they didn't really care. Anyway, the point is, I didn't pick it up and put it on the table or somewhere. That was supposed to be the right thing to do. I mean, how hard is to pick it up and put it on the table so that in case the person who lost it ever decides to look for it, it'll be easy to find. But no, I didn't pick it up. Instead, I sort of just stared at it. Watched it get blown by the wind a few cm away from me and then I stepped over it and walked away. o.O WTF? Maybe I was just over thinking last night but it sort of didn't feel right. The teacher for the next class was there too and she was looking at me with a look on her face that seemed like she was testing me. lol. "Are you gonna pick it up or you not gonna?". lol. o.O

But yea, the thing is last night I realized that there are still a lot of things I need to improve with myself. I mean a whole lot of things. A LOT. I thought I could do the little good things in life. I mean, I already taught myself to throw my plates in the bin after I get done eating in the canteen (although sometimes I do forget but not on purpose). Stuff like that. The little things. Everything starts with the little things. The big thing is made up of the little thing. Without the little things there won't be any big things, right? Change has to come from the inside and then work its way out. Then it has to start with something small and then move on to bigger things. Maybe that's an example of the gradation thing that my Philo teacher was talking about yesterday. Hmmm...

Anyhow, yes, gotta remind myself of the little things. Hope everything goes well today. Ayt, gonna go change now. Will update when I get back tonight.

Feeling Stupid

Yep. I feel very stupid at the moment. But not as much as this afternoon. Ugh! Oh em jee!! LOL!! Seriously, so stupid. But it's kinda funny stupid. hahaha.. Oh em jee!! again.. lol.. Ugh! *repeatedly bangs head on wall* hahaha..

PS ..
For some reason, I cannot stop thinking about it. OMG!!! What happened today will definitely be in my Most Embarrassing Moments list. Yep. It's in the top three. I cannot stop it from replaying over and over again in my head. It sucks. I want to sort of disappear or something. lol... Gah!!! T__T XD Make it go away!!

Appreciate or just Shut up! ...

You know what I don't like? I don't like it when I buy something and then those I know find out about it and instead of just appreciating the fact that I bought something I like, they start telling me how what I bought isn't really worth it or there's something else better than it or I didn't get my money's worth or whatever. I hate it when they do that because it makes me feel stupid like I don't know how to buy stuff. Hello? I WANT this thing that I got and I don't care how much it costs or whatever. I like it. I WANT it and fcuk it but I don't care what you think. Maybe it's just so much better that they not know.

Someone related to me is this kind of person. This person who thinks they know it all when it comes to everything. It pisses me off. If I were a really mean person, I would've said a lot of things already and she'd be crying her eyes out. But I don't and it takes a lot of my energy to just shut my mouth and pretend I don't hear her when she starts mouthing off about whatever it is that she thinks she's right about. A few minutes ago she was at it. Someone showed her this perfume that she got and this person started going on about how she (person who owns the perfume) should've just gotten soemthing from Bench because it was better and it was the same price blah blah blah. Dude! WTF? She wanted to buy the thing. It made her feel good buying that thing. Why the hell do you have to ruin it by telling her all that stuff? Stop with the "maypa kato na lang..." Shut up! WTH? I could feel this other person sort of get all quiet and stuff.

It's just really annoying. And what's even worse is that I think I do it too sometimes. I try my very best not to though. I just let people get what they wanna get. Hey, if it makes you happy go ahead and get it. But obviously if it's something that I know will probably harm them then I'll say something about it but if it's a perfume or a book or a dvd or little things like that then dude, let them buy it. They want it don't ruin it for them. Just shut up and realize that they got it because they wanted it and not because they were stupid and didn't know better.

I'm probably just going around in circles so I gotta stop. There's a point here somewhere. Basically, I don't like people who do a lot of criticizing even about simple things. And people who argue about the simplest things and people who think they know a whole lot more than everybody else when they don't and people who don't know how to appreciate other people's happiness.

PS. It doesn't take much to smile and say "that's cool"... =)

Test, Quizzes etc etc..

Coz I don't feel like coding or writing the 3rd chapter of our Senior Project proposal. Here are some random quizzes I took for fun (coz im bored) and their results...

Your Mind is 83% Cluttered

Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to.

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

yes, I think it is cluttered too. So many thoughts , so little talent/energy to express them. hehe...

You Are the Philosopher

You love thinking things over and developing theories. Learning is very important to you, and you pursue knowledge relentlessly. You love to talk about the things you know, often in more detail than people would like to hear. And you know a lot! You're always taking on new subjects, interests, and hobbies. You are at your best when you are left alone to ponder your newest ideas and experiments. You tend to withdraw from environments that are loud, contentious, or passionate.

What Role Do You Play?

bwahahahahha!!!! really??? I don't think so... but hey, whatever...lol..

Your Monster Profile

Grim Ghoul You Feast On: Pickles You Lurk Around In: Candy Factories You Especially Like to Torment: Hippies

What's Your Monster Name?

hehehe.. I love pickles especially when it's in shwarma!!! XD .. LOVE!!! I want shwarma!!!!

Random Thoughts...

Things are easier said than done.
Why does it take a lot to do the right thing?
"Hayahay kay ka!": Why does this phrase have to exist?
Why can't people just do something because it benefits other people
without thinking about that phrase?